This article fascinated me. In my personal opinion, the headline should more appropriately read "Words we [the English language police] don't [want anyone to] say [or use]."
Needless to say, I will use take this opportunity to opine about a plethora of the submissions. (And just for fun, any words/phrases from the list that I purposefully use will be in red.)
First of all, this entry particularly amused me: "Verbing nouns, in general. As Calvin once said to Hobbes, 'It weirds the language.'"
Two things:
- 1) The submitter 'verbed a noun' by using a noun (verb) as a verb; and
- 2) The submitter uses an example of an adjective (weird), not a noun, being used as a verb.
I'd bet that the submitter realizes the irony of his/her submission, but if not, that would be even funnier.
Entries with which I fervently agree:
- backchannel me (versus "reply to me" or "get back to me") Huh? I have never heard this until now, but I agree, it needs to die.
- 'coed' for 'female student' People still say this? Are they aware that the majority of college students are female?
- could care less (instead of "couldn't care less") This DRIVES ME NUTS. If you could care less, that means you do care, at least to some degree, because you have not yet hit the bottom of caring about whatever you're talking about.
- 'effect' as a verb Yes. Almost always, the verb you're looking for is affect.
- inserting any word describing 'unique' (rather, very, more, most) The thing about unique is that it means something is unique. No modifiers necessary. Actually, no modifiers at all, please.
- ironic Okay, I admit, I'm a total prude when it comes to the proper use of irony.
- Verbal irony: the implied meaning is the opposite of the literal meaning.
- Situational irony: the situation has the opposite effect of what was intended or expected.
- Dramatic irony: the audience knows more than the fictional character, and therefore knows the character is making a mistake of some sort.
- irregardless Completely unnecessary. Regardless is correct.
- literally For the love of God, only use this word literally.
- panties Totally agree. I don't wear panties. I wear underwear. Or underpants. Never panties, no matter how frilly or skimpy or grandmotherly. Underwear. That's what I wear.
Entries that are words/phrases used in a colloquial manner, recently coined and incredibly useful, and/or used as slang, and people need to accept that languages never stop evolving and should instead find something else to complain about:
- awesome
- baby mama
- bff
- comfort food
- cougar
- diva
- epic
- 'fail' in lieu of 'failure'
- 'friend' as a verb
- guesstimate
- hangout
- heads up (Dear Submitter, I really hope you don't play softball. Sincerely, Me)
- kind of/sort of The submitter kinda/sorta needs to let this go.
- lame Another useful word, whether describing Kenny G or a horse with a pulled tendon.
- my bad Yes, this is annoying, but it seems like it's gonna stick around for a while.
- nom Om nom nom nom.
- 'party' as a verb
- snark
- tweet
- whatever
Entries that indicate the submitters have personal issues of some sort if these words/phrases truly bother them to this degree:
- 'drapes' as a noun (use 'draperies')
- educator Huh? What's wrong with that?
- 'frame' (unless you are in the picture-framing business or the criminal-justice business) Oh, c'mon. Ever heard of metaphor? Framing an issue means putting it within a certain context (one might say, a frame) to shape public perception (contextualization). Metaphor. Learn to love it.
- fridge ????
- 'golf' as a verb Really?
- grown-ups
- Harvard-educated Hmm, somebody feels insecure about their alma mater....
- hip I bet the submitter is a square.
- 'hard' for 'difficult'
- headlines that begin with "Whither ..." Oooooookay.
- 'home' to mean 'house' (as in town home, home for sale, lake homes)
- inclement weather
- 'in shock' to mean 'shocked' (unless you really do mean "a life-threatening loss of blood pressure") Oh, for God's sake. Metaphor. Metaphor. Metaphor.
- 'issue' as a substitute for 'problem'
- methodology I take it this submitter is not a scientist.
- 'need to' when 'have to,' 'ought to', and 'should' are hanging about unused
- parenting
- perfect with crusty bread Um....
- pet peeve So pet peeve is your pet peeve?
- revolutionary (What happening in Egypt was a revolution. Lady gaga [sic] definitely isn't.) 'supplement' meaning some herbal garbage Someone doesn't like supplements.
- the entire passive tense I wonder if this was submitted by a frustrated high-school English teacher.... (And yes, I did that on purpose.)
- walk-off home run (what was wrong with "game-winning"?)
Miscellaneous comments:
- 'crispy' is not a word Says who? Who died and made you God of the English Language? Crispy is a word: people use it as a descriptor to convey a certain quality (you know, a "crispiness"––yeah, hit that back, bitch) and other people understand what that descriptor means. Crispy fulfills the requirements for a "true" word: it conveys information effectively, and therefore, it is a useful addition to the English language.
- frankly Reminds me of a certain phenomenal music educator who never stopped reminding us not have sex with our students.
- ginormous As of 2007, ginormous is a real word. Just ask Merriam-Webster.
- grok What is that?
- open the kimono Uh, what? Am I the only person who has never heard this phrase before? Sounds kind of dirty.
And finally, because I have a sense of humor, entries that reveal information about the submitters (draw your own conclusions):
- all of the mistakes with Latin-based plurals ("the first criteria is...", "the data was....", "he was an alumni of....")
- artisanal
- 'baby boomer' or 'boomer'
- bomb-throwing anarchist
- chaise lounge
- docent ('guide' will do quite nicely)
- elite
- fiduciary responsibility
- flat world (that one is for T. Friedman only)
- gestalt
- Hollywood liberals
- islamofascism
- "it's the ______, stupid"
- ivory tower
- liberal elites
- obscure trade journal
- off the grid
- right to work
- Rorschach inkblot test
- welfare queens
What's your favorite? What would you add to the list? Let me know in the comments––I'd really love to hear your thoughts!
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